It’s amazing, if you think about it, that dogs get along with children as well as they do. Many seem to understand that kids should be treated differently, with gentleness and tolerance. When interacting with children, these dogs patiently put up with all kinds of strange, unpredictable behaviour and sometimes even painful handling. This ability to enjoy the company of kids, despite rough treatment, has made the dog a popular family pet. Most dogs end up bonding strongly with the children in their family, becoming both friend and protector, and the love between a child and a dog is a truly wonderful thing to behold.

Some dogs, however, have trouble interacting with kids – and when a dog doesn’t get along with young family members, the consequences can be devastating. Although dog bite fatalities are extremely rare and most bites don’t result in injury or medical treatment, children are the victims of half of all dog bites that occur every year, and many of these bites are delivered by the family dog. Dogs often bite children on the face or neck, and these bites sometimes result in permanent scarring or disfigurement. Irrevocable emotional damage is often done as well. Many parents consider any tooth-to-skin contact with a child a major breach of trust – perhaps even grounds for euthanasia – and some people develop lifelong phobias of dogs after being bitten during childhood.

The experience of living with a family dog shouldn’t be traumatic for children. Likewise, living with children shouldn’t be traumatic for a dog. Fostering good relationships benefits everyone in the family, canine and human alike. With proper guidance and supervision, you can help your dog and your kids develop safe, fulfilling friendships.

What Can Go Wrong?

Even if you’ve got the friendliest dog on the planet, a dangerous situation can develop in mere seconds. Although they mean no harm, children can do a number of things to trigger aggression in dogs:

• Startling or hurting a dog
  A child can easily stumble onto a sleeping dog, yank a dog’s tail or poke a pencil into a dog’s ear. If a dog is startled or in pain, he may bite. Defensive aggression is a natural response in animals, and domestic pets are no exception. Very young children are most at risk. They can’t understand that their actions might hurt a dog, and they aren’t capable of defending themselves if they’re attacked.

• Getting too close to resources
  Many dogs don’t like to share their toys or food, and they may become aggressive if a child comes too close while they’re chewing on a bone, playing with a toy or eating a meal. It’s hard for young children to understand that it’s not a good idea to approach or reach toward a dog when he has something he values.

• Playing inappropriately
  Some children find a dog’s aggressive behaviour amusing. When they discover that certain actions can make a dog growl, lift his lip or snap, they repeat those actions. If repeatedly provoked, a dog may eventually feel the need to escalate his “message” by biting.

• Triggering a predatory response
  Some children don’t find a dog’s aggressive behaviour amusing at all. Instead, they’re terrified by it. Frightened or injured children often run away or shriek – behaviours that can trigger predatory behaviour or aggression in some dogs.

How Much Should Dogs Tolerate?

Many people assume that all dogs should be willing to tolerate absolutely anything a child does, just like Lassie on TV. They feel that even a grumble or a lifted lip is grounds for euthanasia or re-homing. Some parents even allow their children to chase, hit, poke and otherwise terrorize family pets – and fully expect the animals to put up with such treatment. Miraculously, many dogs do! Despite dogs’ sometimes saintly attitude, this kind of behaviour from kids is grossly unfair to a pet. It’s not good for the kids, either. Allowing a child to mistreat an animal does nothing to teach her respect for other living beings. It can also put her at risk of injury if the dog she mistreats decides he’s finally had enough.

Supervise to Prevent Problems

The best way to avoid potentially dangerous situations is to supervise all interactions between your dog and your kids – even if your dog is friendly and gentle. Remember, it takes only a few seconds for things to go awry. Monitor both your children’s and your dog’s behaviour when they’re together and watch for signs of trouble. If you supervise diligently, you can step in when necessary and prevent bad experiences.

Learn to Read Your Dog

Some signs of trouble are obvious. If a dog shows his teeth or growls at a child, he’s clearly feeling uncomfortable and/or cornered. But it’s unwise to wait until you see these dramatic behaviours. It’s much safer to learn to recognize your dog’s early, subtle warnings.

The first sign that a dog is getting uncomfortable is often a “freeze,” a momentary pause in what he’s doing. The freeze is sometimes accompanied by a hard stare or “hard eye.” When a dog is giving a hard eye, you can often see the whites of his eyes. If these warnings don’t successfully deter a child, a dog may move on to the more noticeable warnings, like showing teeth, snarling and growling. If the child doesn’t understand the dog’s warnings or finds them amusing and continues to annoy the dog, he may move on to the next level of warning, usually a snap. (Many people assume that a snap isn’t a warning at all—that the dog tried unsuccessfully to bite. But dogs have wonderful control of their mouths, and they move a lot faster than we do. If a dog means to bite, he generally will.) If the snap doesn’t work to repel the child, the dog may deliver an actual bite. Some dogs inhibit their bites and don’t injure the targets of their aggression. Others deliver harder bites, like the ones they’d likely deliver to puppies in need of some discipline. Unfortunately, a bite that would just pinch a furry puppy’s rolls of fat may cause serious damage if it lands on the face of a tiny child.

When You Can’t Supervise

When you’re not able to supervise the interaction between your dog and your children, it’s best to confine your dog to a safe area away from the kids. If you teach your dog to be comfortable in a crate, in an exercise pen or behind a baby gate, you can easily put him there when necessary. A crate can also provide a safe place for your dog to sleep, eat or chew on things without worrying about a child bothering him. Make sure that your child can’t access your dog’s confinement area.

Train Your Kids!

Training your dog is only half of your job! In addition to teaching your dog how to behave around kids, you need to teach your kids how to behave around dogs. Teach your children how to handle dogs gently. Show your children what polite petting looks like, and have them practice with a stuffed animal. Discourage unpleasant treatment, like poking, pinching, slapping, hugging and pulling on fur, tails or ears.

Dogs Who Love Kids Too Much

Many dogs think children are the best toys and playmates in the world. If your dog is gentle, this can be a wonderful thing. Unfortunately, some dogs, especially those who have had no obedience training, rules or guidance in their lives, happily mouth or jump up on every child they see. Such rambunctious behaviour can be painful or even dangerous for kids.

It’s very important to make sure your dog understands that he is never allowed to put his feet or mouth on a child. This lesson is especially important for big, strong and exuberant dogs. Many dogs think it’s fun to chase children and this behaviour should also be discouraged.

The Time Out

The” time out” is a great technique for dogs who misbehave around children simply because they love kids too much. If your dog mouths or jumps up on children to get more attention, you’ll find that the removal of that attention is an effective tool for teaching him that these behaviors are inappropriate.

To use a time out, follow these steps:

• Monitor your dog’s play with your children very closely. The moment your dog puts a paw or his mouth on a child, say a phrase that means he made a mistake. You can say “Too bad!” “Time out!” or anything else you like, as long as you use the phrase consistently.
• Right after saying your phrase, immediately walk your dog to the nearest boring room, put him in the room and close the door. You can use any dog-proofed area, as long as it doesn’t have any people, toys, food or chews in it. Bathrooms and laundry rooms work well. If you can’t take all of the fun things out of a room, take your dog to time out on a leash. After putting him in the room, close the door on the leash so that your dog can’t run around and have fun by himself.
• Count to 30. Then let your dog out and give him the chance to misbehave again.
• If he puts a paw or his mouth on a child again, march him right back to time out. You’ll likely need to repeat this sequence many times before your dog figures out which behaviors result in time out. If your dog doesn’t misbehave when you let him out of time out, reward him generously with praise and treats. If your dog does anything appropriate, even if it’s just keeping all four paws on the floor around your child, he needs your positive feedback!

Time-Out Tips and Troubleshooting

It’s important that the phrase you use to let your dog know he’s done something wrong happens the very instant your dog misbehaves. It’s also crucial for the time out itself to happen immediately after you say your phrase. Even a couple of seconds’ delay can hinder learning. If your timing is bad, your dog may not understand why he earned his time out.

If your dog tries to evade you when you approach to take him to his time out area, attach a lightweight leash to his collar and let him drag it around when he’s playing with your child. That way you can simply take hold of his leash when he’s earned a time out.

Obedience Training

Your dog can’t harass children if he’s in a sit-stay, lying quietly on his bed or obeying a “Leave it” cue (command). A group obedience class is a great place to teach your dog these basics. If he can learn listen to you in a classroom full of other dogs, he can also learn listen to you when children are running around.

Dogs Who Don’t Love Kids Enough

Up until they’re about four months old, dogs are open to new experiences. If a dog had good experiences with children as a puppy, he’ll be much more likely to continue to enjoy children as he gets older.

If your dog didn’t have opportunities to meet and play with children before he was four months old, he may not realize that kids are people, too! Think about it. Children are different from adults in many ways. They’re smaller, they move erratically, they have higher voices, and they do unpredictable things. Sometimes kids even inadvertently hurt dogs. All of these differences can be frightening to a dog who has never been around small children.

Some dogs choose to run and hide when they’re frightened. Others learn they can lunge, growl, snap or bark to make children go away. If your dog seems nervous but has never shown any aggression toward children, please seek help from your local animal shelter, behaviourist or veterinarian about helping him feel more comfortable around young people.

Finding Professional Help

Aggression toward children is an extremely concerning and potentially dangerous behaviour problem. If your dog growls, snarls, snaps at, lunges toward or tries to bite children, you must take precautions to ensure that he is never in a position to bite a child. It is well worth it to contact an experienced professional behaviourist or trainer who can help you manage or modify this serious behaviour problem.

Additional Tips and Resources

If you are planning on adding a dog to your family and you have small children, choose a friendly, confident dog or puppy with no tendency to guard food or toys, who doesn’t mind being touched everywhere and who loves children as much as he does adults.

If you already have a dog and plan to bring a child into his life, there are many resources available on preparing and introducing your dog for a new baby or toddler.